The world that boys grow up in today is very different than it was a few years ago. Parents are going and going trying to keep up with work, activities, meals, etc. Schools and courts are hyper vigilant about weapons, fighting, touching, cussing and off color remarks. Electronic devices are a consistent presence. TV, movies and music regularly have sexual or violent themes.
Some boys are being raised in physical, aggressive environments and some are being raised in neglectful, passive environments. Some environments are overly structured where the boy does not learn to think for himself. Some environments are chaotic where the boy’s mind develops full of confusion.
Add to the above the normal male issues of: managing both aggressive and nurturing instincts, of learning how to incorporate sexuality, and the issue of wanting to be a part of something larger than himself. We can’t forget the fact that more boys than ever are being raised in a single parent home often without dad in the picture at all. (How is an overworked mother supposed to know how raise a son?) Indeed it is difficult growing up male today.
When I do counseling with boys we talk as we play chess or checkers, while walking to a nearby store for a treat or maybe while flying kites. When a boy is occupied he is more likely to talk about his life.
I teach boys that the expression of emotions is healthy but that it is important to express them in a positive way. I teach them that being too passive can be as harmful as being too aggressive. Most boys are open to discuss emotions if approached in the right way.
It is healing and self-esteem building to discuss one’s emotional world in a safe and predictable relationship. This is how boys learn to express their needs and feelings in a healthy and assertive way. In other words this is how boys learn to have positive relationships.
If you would like to visit about making your son’s growing up easier, give me a call or send an Email.
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