Can’t I just talk to my dog?

Most people see a counselor after they have tried to fix or figure out their situation for a long time but still can’t seem to come up with an answer. The “Can’t see the forest for the trees” metaphor applies here. If you are very close or inside a problem it’s hard to see a solution.

A good counselor helps you to find out who you are and what you want. Sometimes a counselor will offer new ideas for you to try. Also, working with a counselor can help you find the motivation needed to solve a problem.

Counselors are sometimes used as resources for information. They can recommend books, web sites, seminars, agencies and other specialized counselors.

HOW DO YOU FIND SOMEONE
REALLY GOOD?
(What’s the difference between shrinks?)

Research shows that progress in counseling depends mostly upon the level of connection between the counselor and the client. More important than the counselor’s degree, the theories behind the counseling or the length of the counseling experience, a sense of connection and of being understood between the counselor and client is most essential.

Keeping this in mind, here are some common categories of counselors:

• Psychiatrist/MD - A Psychiatrist is a doctor who has training in brain chemistry and in prescribing medications for emotional and mental conditions. Some psychiatrists provide counseling but most only evaluate and prescribe. A good psychiatrist can be a life saver. In less complicated cases family physicians are willing to prescribe antidepressants or mood stabilizers.
• Psychologist/PhD - Psychologists are usually trained in testing aspects of mental functioning as well as in counseling. Their focus is on the individual, how she develops and how she responds to situations in her environment. Psychologists often go to school for four or more years after college in order to get a doctorate degree.
• LPC - A Licensed Professional Counselor has earned a masters degree in counseling or in education and then has had at least two years of supervised experience working with people. Like a psychologist, an LPC’s focus is primarily on the individual.
• LMFT - A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist is a counselor with a masters degree who has specialized training in marriage and family work.
• LCSW- A Licensed Clinical Social Worker has earned a masters degree in social work with an emphasis in counseling. They are trained to keep in mind the surrounding environments and cultures of the people they work with. A broader but less in-depth perspective than psychological training.
• CAC - A Colorado Certification in Addictions Counseling level I, II or III. This can include training in working with alcoholism, drugs, gambling, sex or internet addiction. Working with the families of people dealing with addictions is a specialty of mine.

A counselor with any of the above degrees can effectively help you with your marriage, parenting, personal growth or addictions. Most counselors do ongoing training in a variety of areas so over time a specific degree becomes less important. The key is finding a counselor with expertise and the potential for connection with you.

In addition to degrees there are areas of specialty and areas of theory to consider. Some counselors specialize in working with children, some specialize in individual growth work, and some in couples work. Some counselors use a cognitive theory where thoughts and preconceptions are examined, some counselors are more emotionally oriented where feelings are examined. The question is, what works best for you?

The personality of a counselor is an important consideration. Some counselors like to talk a lot, some like to talk a little. Some counselors are easy going and others are directive. Some counselors are nurturing and some will “hold your feet to the fire”. Again, what works best for you?

You have many options when choosing a counselor. Take your time and talk to at least two or three before you decide who to work with. It is always okay to switch counselors after a few sessions if the fit is not right.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SEE A COUNSELOR?
(It all seems so weird.)

At your first appointment you and the counselor will get to know each other a bit. After filling out some basic state required paperwork they will ask you to elaborate on the situation that brought you to their office: “How long have you felt this way?” or “How long has the relationship been troublesome?” They will usually ask a few questions about your present living and work situation to assess the level of support in your life.

Feel free during this time to ask questions about the counselor: What are their degrees? Their licenses and certifications? Did they go to a respectable school? What are their theories about counseling? What is their experience? It’s good to ask if they have ever been in counseling.

As you talk, notice how comfortable they are about answering your questions. How do you feel as you are talking to them. Do you respect them? Could you talk to them as a friend?

WHAT ABOUT MEDICATIONS?
(Do I have to be on drugs?)

Most people in counseling are not on medications. Medications can be helpful though if there is a condition that runs in your family or if you are having trouble functioning. Often they are used as a bridge that gets us through a difficult time while we are figuring things out. Medications alone are not as helpful as medications and counseling together. Finally, medications can only be prescribed by a psychiatrist or a medical doctor.

WHAT ABOUT THE COST?
(Sounds expensive.)

Most insurance companies still require a lot of paperwork, pay low rates and require that a client is assigned a diagnosis of mental illness. There are many hoops that an insurance counselor has to jump thru to get paid. Thus more and more quality counselors no longer work with insurance companies.

Many counselors will ask you to pay them directly. Rates are between $70 and $120 for a 50 minute session. Sometimes insurance companies will reimburse you for part of the cost if you submit the required paperwork.

Larger companies or government agencies offer what is called an Employee Assistance Program or EAP. An employee can call this program and request 3 to 5 free sessions. The idea behind EAP benefits is that easily accessible counseling will help an employee to stay focused at work.

HOW WILL I KNOW WHEN I AM DONE?
(Will it take forever?)

Counseling can last a few weeks, a few months or even a few years. It depends on the reasons why you are doing counseling. If there is a problem to be solved a lessening of the problem will signal the end of the counseling. If they are counseling for individual growth, when you are finished, you and the people around you will notice that life is a little better for you. You will like yourself more, you will be more spontaneous and your relationships will go smoother.

A counselor can usually give you some kind of time frame at the second or third session.

Click here to find out why you should talk with Don O'Malley.